soundslikeafuckingkid | Voicetesting with [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]

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Voicetesting with [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]

[CT sat silently at the table across from Carolina, gaze focused on everything except her former teammate. After all her attempts to escape the other Freelancer throughout Sacrosanct, CT had simply not been fast enough this time.

Her mind was filled with a million different possible scenarios, most of them ending up with her being dragged back to the Director. So, as of now, she's resigned, her hands loose and lax in her lap.

Say something. Say anything. Yell at Carolina, do something besides just sit there.]

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[Carolina stands and pushes away from the table for a moment.]

I think I used to watch your back, adn you used to watch mine. [Okay, so they were basically at completely opposite ends of the Freelancer Gold Star Student chart, but Carolina still considered CT as team, and couldn't figure out her hesitance. From what scant information she'd been able to gather from the others, CT hadn't even gotten an AI.]

It's because I went crazy, isn't it? Rest assured, I'm not that woman. [She takes her helmet off and rests it on the table, leaning on it and staring CT down so she could see how lucid Carolina was. And well yes also a little pissed. ~~Or a lot.~~.]

[Carolina standing put CT even more on edge and she had to physically put some distance between her own chair and the table at that. How could she still be so intimidated by this woman after years and years of separation? Fuck everything right now. She keeps her gaze focused on Carolina even as pulls off her helmet.]

You think it's because you went crazy? [If CT were the trolling type, she'd be laughing, instead she's just doing her best to not flip out.] It isn't that. At all.

And I don't have to explain anything to you because we aren't fucking teammates. [Slight pause, before a self-depreciative:] We never were.

[Carolina starightens, her expression carefully cold and blank.

That hurt. They'd all been part of the same squad, and Carolina had made it a point to treat them all with same respect, and push them to be their best. How had she gone so wrong with CT.]

My mistake. [She fits her helmet back on -- she needed that shield now more then ever -- and crossed her arms.]

I'm not here to be your enemy, Connecticut. Just remember that. You need any backup, you know how to reach me. [This wasn't much, it felt like way too little, and yet she had no other ideas on how to break through -- to CT, to any of them. She steps away, intentionally turning her back to CT.]

You're free to go.

[CT knows that expression, she's seen it so many times in her time both during and after Freelancer. The offer of backup is met with an immediate buffer from CT; she doesn't mean it, she's just trying to lure you in. Don't trust that turned back. This is a trap. She wants something, she has to, there's no way that Carolina could just want her team to be in one piece.

No, never. Impossible.]

Like I fucking believe that. [But hey she's still getting up and eyeing the nearest exit.]

[She turns slightly to regard CT.] Whether you believe it or not doesn't make it any less true. This isn't our world and we've got to adapt and if half the shit they say about this place is true, we're going to need each other eventually.

[She's tense, alert as always, but she's making no moves to block CT from the door.]

[CT's definitely taking an involuntary step back when Carolina turns toward her. That has to be a lie. CT doesn't need anyone, and shouldn't. ]

Stop it. I already told you more than you need to know.

[Just voicing her suspicions is still more than CT wanted to say to her former teammate, period. Things needed to be kept in close, extremely close, or Carolina would get her. Needless to say, her paranoia's ramped up significantly since leaving Freelancer. ]

[Carolina turns fully towards her, shifting her weight and cocking her head, but still maintaining that distance from the door. It was important to her that CT not feel boxed in. Everyone knew something but nobody was talking; she didn't like this feeling of being left in the dark.]

You haven't told me anything. I'm not asking for the world. I'm not even asking for your loyalty -- [-- had she always been wrong about CT? The thought flits through in a moment.] I'm the earliest one from any of our timelines, and I just want some answers about where things go. Everyone's been open enough to tell me shit's gone down, everyone's been opinionated to blame everyone else, but I'm not getting a lot of hard evidence that I need to know if I'm going to -- [To what? Help them? Rebuild the team? She stops cold for a moment and takes a breath.]

Two months ago I was on the Mother Of Invention and it was my duty to ensure the team's safety. Hard habit to break.

[It takes so little for CT to feel boxed in and just having Carolina around is enough to make the younger woman feel utterly trapped. ]

Yeah? Great. Why don't you go 'ensure' someone else's 'safety.'

[Not even beginning to address the request for information. CT's trying to cover all of her bases as quickly as possible, attempting to make herself look as strong as possible and leave as few cracks as possible for Carolina to possible worm through.]

Because I don't care about anyone else's safety. [Everything was starting to wear her down.]

[And she was smart. She could see how broken up CT really was, that when the younger girl tried harder it just spoke louder that something was wrong.]

Screw the rest of this station, I just was my team to be alright. [It was totally her team. Texas wasn't here.]

I'm not on your fucking team. [CT knows that the only way to really prove that would be to provide information, something. But, is it worth the cost? Would Carolina go straight to the Director if CT said anything? The panic is starting to rise in her, a twist in her gut as she eyes that door again. Could Carolina reach her before she got to the door?]

It's been eight years since I left the program. [Before, brusquely, protectively:] And that's all you're getting.

Eight years ... [She pauses to consider that. That knowledge, as well as herbehavoir, was falling right in line with what she'd heard and experienced from the others.]

[She was the youngest, now. They had all these years of experience and betrayals and she suddenly felt like a naive little kid, smart enough to know something happened, something changed, but lacking the maturity to understand it all. Old enough that this feeling was grating her terribly.]

That's all I wanted. [She motions to the door.] If you want to go so bad, go.

[CT doesn't need to be told twice, but she does keep her gaze firmly focused on Carolina as she edges her way toward the door, panic and paranoia fighting each other behind her walls. ]

I'll know if you follow. [Barely a breath before:] Don't fucking follow me.

[Her heart is pounding in her ears as her fingers wrap around the door handle. Yeah, that time in the desert only really made everything worse. Her paranoia is over-the-top and would be almost comical if it weren't 100% real to her.]

[Carolina's turned away from her again, all attemps to ease the sitaution as best she can.]

Be safe. [It's sincere, trying to give CT a firm understanding of her intentions right now. . She's already failed at everything else so far.]

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